Thursday, 26 March 2009


'Masculinity is bestowed. A boy learns who he is and what he's got from a man, or the company of men. He cannot learn it any other place. He cannot learn it from other boys, and he cannot learn it from the world of women. The plan from the beginning of time was that his father would lay the foundation for a young boy's heart, and pass on to him that essential knowledge and confidence in his strength. Dad would be the first man in his life, and forever the most important man. Above all, he would answer the question, Do I have what it takes? Am I a man? for his son.' J. Eldredge.
Being a father is not about being a Superhero. It's about being there. Growing up my father was there but he wasn't there if you know what I mean. He was physically present but his emotions and heart were out of reach. I grew up with no self-esteem wondering if my existence really mattered. I went down the road of trying to earn my right to exist with things like good grades at school and so on but I felt like a hamster on a wheel as these achievements didn't fill that gaping hole inside so I tried harder only to end up the same.
Having a child of my own, my fear was that I wouldn't do it right, that I wouldn't be a good father because I never had a positive role model. But I learned that I don't have to be a Superhero, I just have to be there. There to give my attention and my love, to listen eagerly and participate, to read a bedtime story and be there at the school play.
God has allowed me to sow into other young men who have grown up without a male role model like myself and give them the encouragement and support they crave for. Just to be there.
My desire is to see older men giving of their time to sow into young men growing up who have no father figure to look up to and showing an example of the Father heart of God who is the ultimate 'Father to the fatherless'.

1 comment:

  1. Love your honesty John. It's a HUGE responsibility being a parent isn't it?! I also battle the fear of not doing it right - and so often I don't do it right - but like you, I'm learning to be real and not superhuman. Although I always wanted to be Lynda Carter as Wonderwoman!!! I even thought I looked a bit like her!!!!